Becoming Orgasmic!

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Only about a third to half of all women can orgasm during penetrative sex. Are you one of them? Read on…

Think of the movie No Strings Attached: The first time they have sex, she tells him that he has exactly forty five seconds to do his thing and then three thrusts later they both orgasm simultaneously. Really?

More than half of all women have never had an orgasm with their partner’s penis inside their vaginas and if you are one of them, you are not abnormal!

It is safe to say that most women can only orgasm during foreplay. They have to have their orgasms through direct stimulation of the clitoris by:

  • Their partner’s hand
  • Their own hand
  • Rubbing it against their partner’s body
  • Oral sex
  • Using a vibrator
  • Imagining a fantasy or acting out the fantasy (these are only a rare few!)

For those who do orgasm during penetration, it is usually because of direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris and not so much due to the presence of the penis in their vaginas. This happens in one of the following ways:

  • During penetration, the labia minora (small lips) get pulled downwards. They are attached to the hood of the clitoris, causing indirect stimulation with each thrust.
  • The clitoris itself is not the small little button we see on the outside. The body of the clitoris is actually about 11cm long, stretching backwards, around the vagina. Which is why penetration causes indirect stimulation of the clitoris.
  • Depending on the position you use, direct stimulation of your clitoris against his pubic bone or another body part might be possible.
  • And if this is not enough, those who do orgasm during penetration often do so with the help of their partner’s hand, their own hand or a vibrator – all directly stimulating the clitoris.

All women have the right to have an orgasm during every sexual encounter but should not feel pressured to do so. If you would like to get so-called vaginal orgasms, make sure you are very close to climax when he penetrates and use direct stimulation of the clitoris to get there. It might seem a bit awkward and mechanical at first, but you just need that first one. The rest will come much easier. No pun intended!

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