Coming to terms with being Trans is incredibly difficult. So is telling people, if you choose to. You spend all this time obsessing about how they are going to take it, or worrying about others simply not understanding. You spend hours trying to think of different ways to explain the concepts of sex and gender in a way that everyone will comprehend, and at some points, you have to accept that there will be people who will never “get it”. You mull over how people will react if you change how you look, what you wear etc. You worry about whether or not people will invalidate you for wanting to look a certain way. You try so hard to “pass” because not passing means constant ridicule, and you spend so much time trying to figure out how to change your voice, how to change your face, just so you can feel more like yourself.
Even then, people will not always be kind. People are rarely kind about things they don’t understand. So sometimes, Trans people don’t ever come out. They stay hidden, because being hidden is easier than loosing everyone. It is easier than being labelled a freak. It is easier than being completely alone. As a trans person who went through these feelings, and still going through them, I want to tell other trans people that things really do get better. Whether you are out or not, being yourself is always the best idea. Yes, people are going to be shitty about it. That is almost guaranteed. You will get better at hearing transphobic comments. Some days they will bother you a lot, but you will find people who will help you through that. You’ll find out who your friends really are. I certainly did. I thought I was going to lose everyone I loved, but I didn’t. Yes, I lost some people, and you will too. But you don’t need people like them, people who can’t accept you for who you are. Being yourself is like breaking out of a cage; it’s going to be painful at first, and every once in a while you might lose your footing, but you are free. Nobody can take your freedom from you and it is so worth being free.
What I am trying to say is be yourself. There is no one else like you. Nobody can invalidate you. Nobody can take away from the content of your character. At the end of the day, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and feel content with what you see. That is what matters. The rest will fall into place. You are brave enough to be yourself; each and every one of you. You will not ever really be alone. You won’t lose everyone. You will grow a thicker skin than you ever thought you could, and one day you will feel so happy with yourself that hateful comments will simply make you laugh. It is hard to see it now, but it is possible and it will happen. YOU are human! You are not the names people call you. Your value is decided by YOU, and no one else. The most important thing in life is to be happy with yourself, and you will be. You will be fine.
http://mysexualhealth.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/gender-affirmation.jpg282426Elna Rudolphhttp://mysexualhealth.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/logo1.pngElna Rudolph2016-09-10 17:41:192016-09-10 17:52:59From one trans to another